Being True to Yourself – Fenella Gray

Being True to Yourself – Four words that are so important in our life, yet for me it took years (around 50) to realise it is ok to be true to myself. Having suffered significant trauma at the age of 5 and for the next 13 years of my life, I not only disassociated but sub-consciously thought I needed to be what others needed of me to be loved, cared for and liked. I didn’t value being true to myself and what I needed. This was the only way I knew to be.

For the last 20 years I have been remembering and unwinding my past. Not easy. I realised how many toxic and one-sided relationships I had, because I adapted to what others needed. I wasn’t being true to myself.

During the last 8 years I have also opened myself to being spiritual which I sort of knew was there long ago however, didn’t want to open to in case others didn’t approve. Spirituality is now a really important part of who I am. I have no problem with talking about that part of my life to people as that is being true to myself.

I’m still on a journey to being fully true to myself. When I am, things go so smoothly for me, when I’m not the doubt in myself and anxiety arises very quickly.

I have been supported through this journey by an amazing husband, incredible therapist and some wonderful friends (many new), who have helped me to realise the importance of being true to myself. A big part of this has been developing relationships that allow me to be true to myself and accepting it is ok to be me.

The journey will continue for me however, the rewards of being true to myself are amazing!