I am fortunate that some wonderful people shared their experiences of life with me. Many have passed over now but occasionally another person comes along who carries on where others have left off and I am enriched again.
I was born in Kawakawa in the Bay of Islands and I am from the Ngāti Hine sub-tribe of Ngāpuhi. I was nurtured within my whānau whānui by many grand-aunts, grand-uncles, aunts, uncles, elderly cousins as well as my parents and older brothers and sisters. It was common practice back then for children to be shared among each family; consequently we experienced various ways of living.
As both sets of grandparents had passed away long before my birth, there were many who took their place. Like my cousins, I was told about our grandparents, their beliefs and disbeliefs, their likes and dislikes and so on. In our minds we grew up knowing that they, and others, were still “around” because of references to them in whaikōrero; therefore they continue to influence our daily lives.
At family hui on our marae, it was the responsibility of our elders to teach us, not only about survival but also our culture, its values and traditions and especially the spiritual aspects. I grew up believing that all things had a mauri (life force), that there was a purpose for our existence and that we must find within ourselves our own spiritual equilibrium.
At the times in my life when psychic activity was at its peak in some way or another, I realised that no-one had actually taught me how to handle these situations, so fear became a disruptive part of my life. When I was young I played with spirit children and talked to adult spirits. I thought it was a normal part of living so I was not afraid. Anyway, my mother was always there to explain the reasons “why”. In my late teens, psychic activity again interrupted my days and nights, and of course my mother was there to “kiss it better”. However, despite all her loving, the fear was still there – perhaps the umpteen dozen “who could tell the best ghost stories” did not help!
During the years of quietness I met many people who gave me good advice on why “ghostly things” were happening to me but none offered any explanation on how to handle my fear – I think they too were scared. Nevertheless, it was also a time of helping others less fortunate than myself so I became involved in a lot of voluntary work. The most satisfying was lending an ear to the distressed. I often remembered my teachings back on the marae and one lesson in particular still applies to me today – “No matter how high you think your status in life is, never forget from whence you came for your roots are your beginning. Therefore what is most important? ‘Tis man, ‘tis man.” Today I am no higher than anyone but if I seem selfish at any time I have myself to blame for I, too, have weaknesses.
After I had my two children, I experienced fear like I hadn’t experienced before. Psychic activity returned with a vengeance and I no longer had my parents to turn to. At night, my house would be lit up like a Christmas tree and as I became weary, I would sit at the dining table holding my eyelids open so I would not sleep. I was never successful. Of course my husband complained bitterly about my wasting electricity and my nightly commotions – can’t say I blame him, I drove him nuts. I occasionally embarrassed myself by saying “hello” to people and wondered why there were being ignored by my friends. I would comment on their rudeness but needless to say I would be the one with “egg on my face”.
When she was three, my youngest daughter spoke of her life before she was “borned” to me. I believe in past lives because of my own experiences, reinforced by the teachings on the marae. But coping with my daughter’s revelations was another thing – I feared for her too. Then I met a wonderful vibrant kuia at our local Kōhanga Reo. Eventually, after my continuous denial and then confession, she led me along the pathway of light. For four years she guided and enlightened me and taught me to pray. I had thought prayers always came from the Bible or from those old Māori incantations about the universe. She explained the “whys” and “hows” and the healing introduced me to the Spiritualist Church and my first circle. Since then, five years have passed and she is still guiding me and many others. Wonderful doors have been opened for my growth. I am happy to say that the love and understanding I give to others comes from my heart for I have been taught well. In the words of my ancestors, “Education is for life, from birth until death” – yes, I am still learning.
To Nanny Ereti, I dedicate this story for she has encouraged me to seek and find, to share and be kind, to love and be loved, and that humility has such strength. To the many loving people who have contributed to my growth, both here and in spirit, I love you all, for “He iwi kotahi tatou”, “We are one people”. Tēnā koutou i roto i te aroha – greetings to you in love.
– Phyllis Henare-Butler, Committee member, Wellington Spiritualist Church.
Source: Vision, The Magazine of the Spiritualist Church of New Zealand, Autumn 1994.