Ways to build deep and honest relationships

Deep and honest relationships don’t just happen; they do need to be worked on. And these relationships aren’t just limited to your partner. What about your children, your friends and your parents to mention just a few.

There are many different types of relationships that benefit greatly when you are willing to put a bit of work into them. Here are a few things that you might like to try to help you build these beautiful relationships.

1. Authenticity

Authenticity is about being true to yourself and expressing yourself in a way that is not hurtful but rather expressed with love. Accepting that your opinions and feelings are important and being able to speak them in a way that is not hurtful or manipulative is part of building a strong relationship with others. Indian Spiritual Master Shirdi Sai Baba says this: “Before you speak, think: Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind? Will it hurt anyone? Being brutally honest is fear-based and has no place in a healthy relationship so become aware of your feelings and how you express your words.

2. Vulnerability

Being willing to share your experiences with others honestly and openly may leave you feeling vulnerable, but it is in this vulnerability that you are able to bring authenticity to the relationship. Freely discussing thoughts, concerns, and desires without fear of reprisal and having then accepted without judgement helps to build a deep acceptance between people and leads to respect for each other.

3. Set and respect boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries around what is and isn’t acceptable in a relationship can help build respect and trust with the people around you. Perhaps you are a person who needs time by yourself. By acknowledging this and having that need accepted by others, you are strengthening the relationship. If these needs are not openly spoken, then they can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of trust.

4. Communication

A meaningful relationship comes with open communication, where each partner feels they can express their needs and emotions openly and be heard. All relationships have disagreements and that’s ok, what matters is how you talk and listen to each other. Being honest when communicating is about sharing what you feel rather than judgements and criticisms. Being honest with someone and being able to listen honestly to what they are saying allows open and clear communication.

5. Allow each to develop in their own way within the relationship

Diversity in a relationship can be stimulating when both partners are interested in what the other is doing without feeling like they have to be a part of it or direct it. Control and/or manipulation will not lead to a deep and honest relationship as there is a lack of acceptance that each has their own lives to live within the relationship.  By accepting that each has the right to live their own lives as part of the relationship, you bring variety and joy into your lives.

People who you feel a deep connection with, are people who you understand and understand you back. With these people you feel seen, heard and valued. Such a simple, yet integral concept for building deep and honest relationships.

Barbara Hand